Love story: Ruki-my dream, my life
Monday, 07 March 2011 05:46
Ruki-my dream, my life
(A story of dream, love and fantasy)
--By Mohammed Zahir (Editor of Studentvisa4u.com)
A little moment ago, Ruki confirmed me over cell phone that she will not contact me for a few days, because she is getting ready to leave Dhaka for Chittagong to meet her parents. Hearing this news I have been so shocked. I cannot describe my present mental helplessness at her absences.
I don├óÔéČÔäót know, how much she came to understand that I love her more than my heart. My heart burns for her, my sleepless unrest two eyes get wet with tears for a little touch of her innocent love. Therefore, my mind cannot allow her a little absence even for a moment.
Only my God knows that I truly love my beloved Ruki. She is not only a simple lover to me; she is now a shining moon in my dark night, she is the sunshine in my cloudy day, she is my only confidence to live anymore and she is my only inspiration to achieve new goals in career.
When my life was ready to get lost from the world with boundless sorrows and upsets, when I lost my confidence to live in this world any more, when I have to leave my career & when I had no shelter of mental peace, then, suddenly Ruki came to my life with a smiling face to remove all stains from my wounded heart. She came to my life as a shining moon to show me the art of living newly.
With the touch of Ruki├óÔéČÔäós affection and smiling, I regained confidence in life, I gained inspiration to do some extraordinary in my career. I gained oxygen to take breath easily. Nowadays, I cannot pass any moment without dreaming my so beloved Ruki.
Ruki told me, ├óÔéČ┼ôJhoney, I am so sorry; I am on the way to Railway Station. Within one hour, I will leave Dhaka for Chittagong.├óÔéČ┬Ł
I replied with sorrow, ├óÔéČ┼ôYou know well, nowadays I cannot pass any moment without dreaming you. You ensured├é┬á├é┬áto├é┬ámeet me every day. I have planned to enjoy an English romantic movie with you this evening at Bashundhara Cineplex.├óÔéČ┬Ł
Ruki replied, ├óÔéČ┼ôJhoney as you are so romantic, your life is an excellent romantic movie & every day I enjoy your live movie, ha ha ha. Really I will miss you for a few days. But I am sorry that, I have to go now Chittagong to attend an emergency call of my mother.├óÔéČ┬Ł I understood clearly a little sound of sympathy in her voice.
├óÔéČ┼ôSo when will you meet me again?├óÔéČ┬Ł I questioned with fear in my mind.
├óÔéČ┼ôI am not sure, but I shall try my best to meet you sooner├óÔéČ┬Ł, uncertainty in her voice, ├óÔéČ┼ôI am sure; I will miss you at every moment. But, for a few days I have to leave you.├óÔéČ┬Ł
├óÔéČ┼ôBut, Ruki you know well, if I miss you for a long time, so I will have to die.├óÔéČ┬Ł Tension makes me unhappy.
To give a little patience in my mind, Ruki told with soft emotion, ├óÔéČ┼ôI know you are so crazy for me & you don├óÔéČÔäót want to miss me for a little moment from your eyes. I know, nowadays, your mind totally depends on my mind. I know, you will not have sound sleep at night. Really I feel so uneasy for your helplessness. Please do believe, I feel you much at every moment and I expect your good health and sound sleep. I want; God will help you to pass each moment in romance and happiness.├óÔéČ┬Ł
├óÔéČ┼ôBut, how will I pass my days and nights without you? You know, you exist in my heart, eyes and you are flowing in my blood as power. I cannot feel easier without talking with you face to face and from very closer to my eyes. I cannot dream any day in my life without you, I cannot think having any food & I cannot want to live without having you in my chest.├óÔéČ┬Ł
├óÔéČ┼ôI know you love me so much. I came to understand that my mind is being so crazy at your love. Thanks to God who has created you with a fresh emotional and soft mind. Please don├óÔéČÔäót be so excited, I will return to you very shortly.├óÔéČ┬Ł Ruki wanted to ensure me.
├óÔéČ┼ôBut my mind does not allow me to keep you out of my sight for a single moment. ├óÔéČ┼ô I expressed my upset.
├óÔéČ┼ôThank you so much for your interest upon me. I am so pleased, but I have to go now.├óÔéČ┬Ł Ruki tried to drop the call.
├óÔéČ┼ôPlease Ruki, don├óÔéČÔäót drop the phone call.├óÔéČ┬Ł I requested her.
├óÔéČ┼ôOk, please make short. I am ready to enter in to the car for Railway station just now; otherwise I will miss the train.├óÔéČ┬Ł Ruki told.
├óÔéČ┼ôRuki I am coming to the Railway station to see off you.├óÔéČ┬Ł I expressed hopefully.
├óÔéČ┼ôNo need, I am accompanying by my uncle and aunt. There is an emergency meeting in our house at Chittagong. And, still now, you did not have your breakfast. At first, please have your breakfast and then have relaxed.├óÔéČ┬Ł But I did not feel easier with Ruki├óÔéČÔäós affectionate advice.
├óÔéČ┼ôRuki, my mind does not feel comfort to lose you today. I cannot accept it any way.├óÔéČ┬Ł I told to make her understood my uneasiness.
├óÔéČ┼ôI am not leaving you forever darling. I am coming back to Dhaka within a few days.├óÔéČ┬Ł Laughingly she wanted to assure me again.
├óÔéČ┼ôBut I am now in fear├óÔéČ┬Ž├óÔéČ┬Ł I cannot complete my words.
├óÔéČ┼ôWhy are you in fear?├óÔéČ┬Ł she asked.
├óÔéČ┼ôI don├óÔéČÔäót know why I am so worrying for you. If you get lost from my life├óÔéČ┬ŽIf you don├óÔéČÔäót come back to me├óÔéČ┬Žif you forget me, then how I will live├óÔéČ┬ŽI have to die...├óÔéČ┬Ł I don├óÔéČÔäót know why my mind is now so helpless.
├óÔéČ┼ôDon├óÔéČÔäót be so upset, I am not getting lost from your world. I am not trying to forget you. Like previous days, I will remain beside you at every moment. Don├óÔéČÔäót think another. Rubbish thinking will make you unhappy and you will have serious illness. Please follow my advice and have breakfast, then have relaxed├óÔéČ┬ŽI am coming back as early as possible.├óÔéČ┬Ł Ruki dropped the phone call and I felt a little pain in my heart.
Nowadyas, I wake up from sleeping and go to sleep dreaming my Ruki. To dream her and to make a dream world with her, always I feel romance in my heart and my two eyes get color with new hope and expectation. If I cannot talk any day with her, so I have to pass sleepless night.
Still now, I don├óÔéČÔäót know, yet she loves me or not, but she is very caring of me & she looks after me for everything in my life, so that I can pass life in a new art. As she knows all of my previous sorrows and break of dreams.
I don├óÔéČÔäót know, yet she wants to come to my life as my desired and dreamed wife, or she dreams another one as her life partner. But she knows well that I want her truly in my life. I don├óÔéČÔäót know, my dreams will come true or my dream will remain in my broken heart as dream only that will lead me to suicide.
Several times I have asked Ruki, ├óÔéČ┼ôPlease ensure me, actually do you love me or not?├óÔéČ┬Ł
But, still now I had no the desired answer from her. Every time, when I ask her this question, she always hides the right answer. She only laughs and replies, ├óÔéČ╦ť├óÔéČÔäó Time will say, I love you or not. But I think, still now that time not came to us. Let the perfect time to come. But I like you more, I respect you more. I want you always remain well in a pleasant way. I want to give you patience, inspiration, confidence and courage to go ahead in your life.├óÔéČ┬Ł
├óÔéČ┼ôBut I want to know, do you love me or not.├óÔéČ┬Ł I wanted to have my answer.├óÔéČ┬Ł You know well that I want you in my life as my beloved wife. I want to make a dream world where you will be my queen and I will be your king. Where I will have only charming nights, when you will be my moon with light of peace. Where I will have all sunny days, when you will be my sun shine to remove all clouds. In my dream world, never I Will have sorrow, never I will have any upset and never I will have tears in my eyes and burn in my heart. Smile of your lovely face, love from your ocean like mind, sparkling of your eyes, touch of your wet hairs and sent of your wet body will make evergreen romance in my mind. I will be mad with your romance, my heart will have melody and rhythm and I will sing love songs only for my queen and wife.├óÔéČ┬Ł
I come to understand that my hopes and dreams make her two eyes wet with little drops of tears of happiness, and then she replies with joy, ├óÔéČ┼ôReally, I am so delighted and proud of your love. I pray to God so that one day your dreams come true.├óÔéČ┬Ł
One day Ruki wanted to know about my opinion, ├óÔéČ┼ôwhat is ├óÔéČ┼ôLove├óÔéČ┬Ł to you? I mean, what do you think about love?
├óÔéČ┼ôRuki, I do believe strongly that ├óÔéČ╦ťLove├óÔéČÔäó is├é┬áthe combination of eternal emotion and feeling that make a mind fresh to share sorrow and happiness of each other, which empower man/woman to do some extraordinary in the world to mankind and society. ├óÔéČ╦ťLove├óÔéČÔäó is that light which shows the way of making romance to color life. ├óÔéČ╦ťLove├óÔéČÔäó is that power, which drives away pollution from life and ├óÔéČ╦ťLove├óÔéČÔäó is that divine power which abstains man/woman from doing evil activities in the society. And, ├óÔéČ╦ťLove├óÔéČÔäó stands on the foundation of respect, belief, confidence and reliability.├óÔéČ┬Ł I cleared my thinking about divine love.
├óÔéČ┼ôI honor your thinking about ├óÔéČ╦ťLove├óÔéČÔäó. My respect increased to you for your fresh and innocent mind.├óÔéČ┬Ł It seemed to me that Ruki was pleased at my straight opinion about ├óÔéČ╦ťLove├óÔéČÔäó.
Then she asked smilingly, ├óÔéČ┼ôWhat do you expect from me? That means do you have any lust?├óÔéČ┬Ł
Smilingly├é┬áI cleared my opinion, ├óÔéČ┼ôLove is always sacred emotion and feeling to a real lover. A real lover does never want to make pollution in love. A real lover does never want to break the belief of his/her lover. I am that lover who never wants to break your belief and who never wants to play with your body. I do believe in divine love that will bring you in my life forever to enjoy the beauty of this charming world through your two little affectionate eyes. I want you in my life to share my all sorrows and happiness. I want you as so beloved wife to fulfill my thirst of mind and I want to forget my black past keeping my head in your chest. I want you in my life to be empowered by the touch of your heart to do some for the mankind, society and the world. When you will come to my life, then I will have the feeling of evergreen romance with the smiling of your eyes, the kiss of your so soft lips, wave of your long hairs in the air and sweet scent of your body will make me so mad to keep you to my heart and then I will have nothing expectation to my God.├óÔéČ┬Ł
Hearing my expectations she laughed and told, ├óÔéČ┼ôYou are so romantic that I have ever seen in my life, thanks to God to create as so romance and emotions in your mind.├óÔéČ┬Ł
One day, while I was repeating my dreams to make fun, Ruky asked me, ├óÔéČ┼ôOk my dear king, only I and you will reside in your dream land?
I replied seriously, ├óÔéČ┼ôIt will be not only a dream world my honorable queen, it will be a real heaven for you.├óÔéČ┬Ł
Knocking the head then she replied, ├óÔéČ┼ôOh I see! Ok, I think it will be a paradise for me, but I shall feel bothered in the solidarity darling.├óÔéČ┬Ł
I joked, ├óÔéČ┼ôWhy darling are you being so excited? I shall keep you in by breast for 24 hours.├óÔéČ┬Ł
Ruki added, ├óÔéČ┼ôThank you so sweet darling, but there will be none except you and me?├óÔéČ┬Ł
Ensuring with proud I replied, ├óÔéČ┼ôWhy not my queen, there will be hundreds of servants at your service. And for your pleasant, you will have minimum two dozens of children as flowers.├óÔéČ┬Ł
Being so astonished she added, ├óÔéČ┼ôOh my God, two dozens of children! Sure I will die darling to look after them. Please consider.├óÔéČ┬Ł
Making joke I told, ├óÔéČ┼ôOk darling, if you become afraid of having a lot of children, so I shall provide you birth control pill├óÔéČ┬Ž├óÔéČ┬Ł
Hearing my joke Ruki could not stop laughing, at last she added, ├óÔéČ┼ôYou├óÔéČÔäóre so funny, please stop your dream now, otherwise I shall have to die laughingly.├óÔéČ┬Ł
One year ago, in the days of my sorrows and upset, suddenly I met Ruki at the office of Monirul├óÔéČÔäós corporate house at Dhanmondi of Dhaka. Monirul is one of my dearest one and he is like my younger brother. Always he respects me as his elder brother.
On that day, I was ready to return from Sakura Bar (In front of Dhaka Sheraton) drinking Scotch whisky. To get a little mental relief I used to drink wine and beer regularly. I had no mind in my career and business. Being a drunk I was ready to start my motor bike, suddenly my cell phone started to ring. I saw that my dear Monirul was calling me. Unwillingly I had to receive his call.
Monirul told, ├óÔéČ┼ôI have an emergency discussion with you. Please come to my office and have launch with me├óÔéČ┬Ł.
I replied with a drunken voice, ├óÔéČ┼ôSorry my dear, I am not so normal now. I will meet you later.├óÔéČ┬Ł
But Monirul requested me as so hardly that I had to go to his office unwillingly.
I entered into his room and sat on a chair in front of him. I could not talk so easily. I was smoking one after another cigarette. I found a young lady on another chair talking with Monirul. But she was unhappy with my rough and drunk attitude.
At last Monirul requested me to stop smoking. I found the lady stared at me. I told nothing and closed my eyes.
I understood, the lady asked Monirul, ├óÔéČ┼ôWho is he and why he is doing so?├óÔéČ┬Ł
Monirul replied with sorrow, he is one of my respected elder brothers in the city. He is a defeated soldier in the field of emotion and feeling. He is now abnormal. Some co-incidences made his life a vagabond.
Suddenly I felt that the lady touched my hand. I opened my eyes and looked at her two eyes. I found sparkling of innocent affection in the depth of her two eyes. I did not know how my mind started to be calm. I felt a difference feeling started action in my brain.
The lady asked me, ├óÔéČ┼ôWhy are you destroying your life mister?├óÔéČ┬Ł
I tried to be a little normal, ├óÔéČ┼ôSorry Madam, to smoke in front of you.├óÔéČ┬Ł
She replied gently, ├óÔéČ┼ôIt├óÔéČÔäós OK. But I think, you├é┬áshould take care of yourself├óÔéČ┬Ł
I told, ├óÔéČ┼ôActually I have no interest in my life & no hope to live anymore. I am now bearing a hopeless life. Perhaps, thus one day my lifeline├é┬á will reach to the finishing end.├óÔéČ┬Ł
I understood that the lady was not satisfied with my answer.├é┬á She replied├é┬á with affection after a while, ├óÔéČ┼ôNo mister, no, you have to carry your life ahead. You are still now a young. The right time of finishing life├é┬ástill not came. You have to do something for your society and for your country. You cannot forget your commitment to your society and country. It will not be wise for you. Please wake up.├óÔéČ┬Ł
I found strong confidence and reliability in her voice.
Then I told, ├óÔéČ┼ôNowdays I cannot think easily, I cannot set my mind in my career. I have no confidence on me. Who will help me to regain confidence and reliability in my life?├óÔéČ┬Ł
She replied with more confidence, ├óÔéČ┼ôYour willing is enough for you. And if need, you will have someone to show the light of hope to live newly.├óÔéČ┬Ł Giving me her cell phone number she introduced herself, ├óÔéČ┼ôI am Ruki. I am a newly MBBS doctor. I have completed my MBBS from China at the Hebei Medical University. Hopefully, I will join in a private hospital. I am now in rest at my uncle├óÔéČÔäós house at Dhanmondi. Monirul is very familiar to me. You are welcome every moment, if you need. But I think you need some changes. If need, I shall show you the way of living newly, I shall help you to find out the romance and charm of life.├óÔéČ┬Ł
From that time, gradually some changes came into my mind. I found a little hope and confidence in her to go ahead. Ruki├óÔéČÔäós affection, suggestion and thinking gave me touch of love in my broken my mind again. I left drinking and tried to set my mind in business. I started a new life with new hope in my two eyes to enjoy the charm of the world.
My beloved Ruki is now a slim figured 26 years old dynamic and fashionable lady while I am a 35 years old young who has new hope in two eyes and new dream to discover again meaning of life. For last one year, I passed each day and each night newly where I had no sorrow and upset due to my beloved Ruki├óÔéČÔäós care and affection. I enjoyed her accompany when I wanted. I am grateful to my God to have the touch of Ruki, who has changed my lifestyle. Who cares of my everyday and ever night by giving suggestion to have regularly medicine, food and sound sleep.
For last few months, she is practising in a private hospital at Gulshan. I came to know her parents want her to join in any hospital in Chittagong. Ruki is now in confusion. I don├óÔéČÔäót know,├é┬áwhat is hidden in her mind. If she wishes to practise in Chittagong, so it will be so harder to meet her daily. Perhaps I shall miss her forever.
Although, Ruki did not wanted to see├é┬á off├é┬á her at Railway Station, but my mind is now so helpless that I cannot feel comfort anyway. I have no interest in breakfast. Now I have to go to the Railway station; otherwise I will have no peace in my mind. I will have no food and sleep at night. As she is now part of my existence, so how can I allow her to go out of my sight and out of my mind.
Yesterday, I have bought a pink colored saree for my dream girl Ruki. I know, ├é┬ápink color is very favorite to her. I did not disclose to her about the saree. I wanted to make her so surprised offering it today. Last night, I planned to give her this before going to enjoy evening show at Bashundhara Cineplex & I will request to wear it. I wanted to see when she will wear it, how she will be looked as my groom, and then I will have endless charm of romance in my heart.
Within half an hour the train will leave the Railway station with my Ruki out of my sight. ├é┬áI got ready to go to the Rail way station which is fifteen kilo meters far from my house. I started my motor bike with the saree to make surprised my beloved Ruki.
With so much tension in my mind I am running toward the Dhaka central railway station, but the destination is now likely so far for me and the way is endless to me. But I have to reach the station to see my darling for a little moment at any way.
At last I reached at the Dhaka Rail way station parking zone. I parked my motor bike. Sweat is rolling down from my forehead. I entered in to the station. This the central Rail way station of Dhaka, the capital city of Bangladesh. It is connected countrywide.
The station is now overcrowded by hundreds of passengers, hawkers, loaders and staffs. All on a sudden, I am hearing an announcement by a lady voice in the loud speaker of the station, ├óÔéČ┼ôWelcome to Dhaka Railway station. Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please. We are pleased to announce that Mohanagar Express 0328 is leaving for the port city of Chittagong from platform no 1. May your trip be so pleasant, thanks to all├óÔéČ┬Ł Hearing this announcement, tension made my throat so thirsty.
Without looking behind I started to run for the platform. I am looking for the smiling face of my darling Ruki for once in all compartments from the outside, but failed. The train has started to move. I am making call to her cell phone. The phone is ringing, but no response.
I saw the train is moving forward leaving me alone in the crowd. Within a few minutes the train got lost from my two eyes. It seems to me that, my heart has been detached from my body. Tension increased my blood pressure and my brain is getting pain. My two eyes├é┬ábecame so helpless with tears.
I saw that the saree is now so helpless at my sorrow not having my darling. I kept the saree to my chest by two hands. I closed my two wet eyes and my soul started prayer to my God,├óÔéČ┬Ł Oh my creator, oh my God and oh my Almighty, bless my Ruki, save my Ruki. How much I truly love her, how much want her in my life & how much I depend on her mind, you only know better. Still now, I don├óÔéČÔäót know, she loves me or not. If she only likes me and if she does not love me, so please make endless divine love in her mind for me. Please don├óÔéČÔäót make my Ruki so cruel for me. Please tell her to love me. Only you can make love in her mind for me. Swear to you, if I don├óÔéČÔäót get her as so beloved wife in my life, then I will die, I will commit suicide.
Oh my God, I want nothing more to you, I want only Ruki├óÔéČÔäós love and I want her, only her in my life as a beloved wife. Otherwise I will not forgive myself & I will die, because, she is now only power of my living & she is only way to go ahead in my life. I cannot think my life anymore without my Ruki,
Oh my God, if you don├óÔéČÔäót give me my beloved Ruki, so close my lifeline very quickly. Because I will not be able to lose her from my life and I will not able again to bear the sorrow of not having her. God, if you don├óÔéČÔäót accept my prayer I will sure die├óÔéČ┬ŽI will not call you again.
Oh my God, if you don├óÔéČÔäót make love in my beloved Ruki├óÔéČÔäós innocent mind, so I will destroy your world, I will set fire in my world. But I want Ruki in my life at any way & any cost; otherwise make me blind so that I cannot see the cruelty of your world. I want only Ruki in my life├é┬áwho has shown me the light of newly living, otherwise I will have poison to die, sure I will die.
Oh my God, nowadays, my mind dreams only to have├é┬áher in my life to forget my previous sorrows and to remove all stains from my heart, so please don├óÔéČÔäót break my all dreams. If you break my dreams of having love, peace and happiness from my Ruki, then again I will lose confidence to live in your world. God, I will die without my beloved Ruki, I will die, I will die. Please make a little love in her mind, otherwise I will die.
Oh my God, I am so mad to have a little love from my beloved Ruki and I am so mad to have├é┬áher ├é┬áin my life, if I don├óÔéČÔäót get her love and her in my life, so I will not be able to bear this tragedy of my mind. Sure I will die, please accept my prayer and give me Ruki in my life, otherwise it will be your injustice to my mind and I will die├óÔéČ┬Ž
*Writer├óÔéČÔäós short profile
Mr. Zahirul Alam was born on 07.10.1974 in Bangladesh. He used to write poetry and stories in his school life. He started to write short stories & novels in Bengali├é┬á in 1993. He also acted as a screen playwright. He was also a reporter in some newspapers till 1999. He stopped writing and reporting in 1999 due to some specific reasons. Then he started his business career. He could not fit himself in business arena, then U-Turn to his previous writing profession. In 2007, he planned to act for world students├óÔéČÔäó community. On 07.12.2009 he launched Studentvisa4u.com. Now he is a member of some international organizations and associations.
From childhood, he has to face cruel reality, bitter experience, sorrows, struggle and more ups & downs. He observes life from very closer with different views. He started again creative writing (Stories and Novels)├é┬á from January 2010. In his every story and novel, readers will have the charm of romance, love, reality and humanity.
Mr. Zahirul Alam lives in Dhaka, the capital city of Bangladesh.